Chapter 15: Becoming Brooklyn

Fabian picked me up from work that evening, I climbed into the passenger seat of his rental Cadillac Escalade and leaned over for a kiss, he gave me a quick peck and pulled off. "How was your day baby?"

"It was awesome." I told him, "My presentation came over perfectly, Braxton was impressed and made me permanent on the spot. I got a pay increase...and I think I've been promoted." I patted the bag, "A brand new laptop and my own corner office. I guess I passed the test."

"Congratulations."

"What about you?"

"I was in the studio all day, trying to get this album done. Between that and producing Da Cross' album too, this clothing line and my endorsements I'm going to have one hell of a month."

I sighed, "I'm not going to see you then?"

"Don't worry Brook, I'll spend every free moment with my woman."

I ran my fingers through my hair and rubbed my temples, I hardly saw Fabian but I didn't want to complain, when I met him he was doing his thing in the music game, I didn't want to be a distraction or make him feel like I was trying to change him so I said nothing. Instead I turned my attention to the window and the city flying past me.

"Next week I'm going to be in L.A. at Kandy Shoppe's head office, I'm going to have to do another presentation on the massage gel, I leave next Friday and I probably won't be back until Sunday or Monday."

"I wanted to go to the Blue Note tonight, but I guess I'm just going to spend it with you."

"You're talking like you won't see me anymore this week."

"I probably won't, you know once I get in the studio I can stay there all day. I'm sorry bae."

"No, it's okay, this is your job."

We arrived at the hotel and the paps were already in place to attack us with their cameras, the hotel's security came out and opened our doors then helped us get inside. The paparazzi were all screaming questions at Fabian, asking five different things at the same time. They were shouting questions at me too, do I love my boyfriend, when is the wedding, will I be attending the Grammys with him?

We entered the hotel and caught the elevator up to his top floor penthouse apartment. Fabian pulled his shirt off as soon as we entered the apartment and kicked his pants off. "You're upset." He said and came to sit beside me.

"I never see you. When we started this whole relationship thing, I came in not wanting to get attached to you, you're a player if I've ever met one, I figured that you would have tried to have sex with me by now or at least cheated on me but you haven't, and I've gotten attached to you. I miss you so much when you're gone it's impossible, I never cared this much about anybody, but I let down my walls for you. I really like you Fabian Johnson, but I think we need to end this."

"You're breaking up with me?" He seemed amused and that pissed me off.

"Yes I'm breaking up with you. I've never had a boyfriend before, you're my first boyfriend but we haven't had a relationship, you were never here. Maybe we can try this again, when you're not so hot in Hollywood."

He rested a hand on my face and caressed my cheek with his thumb, it was hard to think with his face inches from mine. "I thought we would try to make this work."

"I want to but with your work and the media, it's too much for me. It's not how I expected my first relationship to be."

He pulled his hand back and folded it in his lap. "You've changed a lot in the past month and a half. You're not the quiet girl anymore, you're more confident, outspoken," He picked up one of my hands and kissed it. "But you're not all the way there yet, you're still becoming Brooklyn. I love what you've become, what you're becoming and I would love to love you whenever you're ready, after you've reached your potential."

Beautiful words from a singer and songwriter, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight. "I love you Fabian Johnson."

"I love you too Brooklyn James."

This was hard, but I didn't run away from it, I didn't want to run away from uncomfortable situations anymore, I was growing and I wanted to keep on growing, the more difficult the situation the more I'll learn and grow. I spent the night with Fabian, we joked and laughed and watched movies. That night I slept in one of his t-shirts snuggled up against him, we got along better tonight than we had during the entire month we were...supposed to be dating. Fabian 'Flow' Johnson will always be my first boyfriend, the one who eased me into the idea of relationships, of getting to know and then loving another person as much as I loved myself and my family.